Each year we all take time with our hearts and write letters to Everlee, so her stocking can be full in the morning, rather than empty. Full of love.
This is my letter to her this Christmas.
My dear Everlee,
You never travel far from my thoughts. So many of my thoughts each day are of you. And each Christmas I search for moments that lead me to closeness with you, the one my heart will always be aching for most this time of year.
I think of all that Christmas is to you in heaven. A celebration of birth. A story of a fathers love. A story that sings of Hope. A story of love. And when I see you celebrating up in heaven I can think of so many other sweet souls your surrounded by, warmed by each others spirits. I imagine sweet snowflakes floating everywhere around, so delicate, so perfect, each one glittering. And the glow of stars, something to mimic what we try to create here on earth by the glow of Christmas lights. I imagine sweet carols being sung by the sweetest of Voices. And so much love bursting from every corner of heaven.
Can you feel the love I send you? I send you some everyday baby girl and always especially on Christmas.
My heart feels more joyful this year as we soak up the blessing of your new brother to fill our arms. Thank you sweet girl, for picking out the sweetest little brother for us to have here. He must have a little of your sweetness you sent in him. I can feel it, when he smiles and talks to us in his little voice. And the way he looks at your picture, you must have told him so many stories before he got in our arms. Or maybe you visit him in his dreams.
We all love and miss you Everlee. There’s always this empty place where you should be. Every cherished moment we share together, there’s always a place for you, there always will.
I want to continue carrying you in love. Spreading The joy in my heart you have given to me being your mom. You didn’t happen to us but for us. You’ll always be for us. And I try to share the beauty I see now because you are mine. I love the sunsets and sunrises you send me, I always feel they are paintings from you. Just like your sister draws me pictures all the time.
And I’ll share the love you have opened my heart too. My heart has grown so much, Evey, you have shown me love is powerful enough to span from heaven and earth. Love is at the center of it all.
And in some days I sense the peace you send me. Where the aches remain calmer, and my spirit doesn’t feel tired but energized from all you have given us.
Your a giver, and your a teacher my dear Daughter. You have a tender soul I feel blessed to have felt entertwine with mine.
If I could wish for one thing each Christmas, it will always be you. Or even just for a dream to meet you in. One where I could hold you for another moment, this Christmas, with the snowflakes from heaven falling all around us.
I love you baby girl don’t you ever forget that. Hug Joy tonight for me. And sing Those birthday celebrations to Jesus loudly, for it’s the hope that he has given us that will reunite us together someday.
Merry Christmas Everlee. My daughter, My angel, my shining star from heaven.
All my love – your mama